For my 35th birthday last year, I had only one request… alone time. I am an only child and I crave being alone. And as a mom of 3 young girls, I don’t get much of it. I told Matt about a month before my birthday that I wanted to go somewhere by myself. This was 2 weeks after having my third baby. He looked at me like I had 3 heads. “What do you mean by yourself? With me, right?” he said. Nope. By myself. “You’ll take the baby, right?” Nope. By myself. He still looked confused. Then, I was telling my best friend about it, she thought I was nuts too. “What can’t you do with Matt that you want to do by yourself?” she asked. I don’t know, I just want to be alone. It was something I couldn’t really describe, but I just wanted to be alone. I felt like a toddler on the inside, stomping my foot and whining, “I just want to be alone!” Where I didn’t have to worry about what anyone else wanted to do. I could do my own thing. A weekend without any responsibilities, only worrying about myself and no one else. Also known as heaven.
I know this may sound selfish, but I just needed it. I am incredibly thankful to have 3 wonderful girls, who at the time were 3, 2 and 6 weeks old, but they are exhausting. And at the time felt like they needed something from me almost 24 hours a day. And since the girls are so close in age, I felt like this had been the case since Lillian was born 3 years prior. And because I am married to a wonderful man, he said, if that’s what you need, then go for it. My mom and step dad were able to come and stay with the girls on Friday afternoon until Matt was home from work that evening and then he flew solo with the girls till I got home on Sunday afternoon.
I found a hotel and spa about two hours from home that was on the water. It was perfect. I knew I wanted to go somewhere close so that I didn’t waste too much of my precious time away traveling, where I could lay by the pool, visit the spa and stare at the water. I have a pool at home, but I just cannot lay out by the pool at home without thinking of all the things that need to be done inside. It is just not as relaxing, not to mention, there is no server bringing me food and drinks. Also, I just love watching the water. Whether it’s the waves at the beach or just the gentle movement of a lake, it just brings me such a sense of peace. I started watching the documentary, “Down to Earth” on Netflix last week, and learned their is scientific evidence for this. Being near or hearing water releases a bunch of neurochemicals in your brain that promote wellness, and your blood flow increases to both your heart and brain, which created an immediate feeling of relaxation. I could sit outside with a glass of coffee or wine and watch the water for hours. It feeds my soul.
I got there just before dinner on Friday night. I took a walk and just explored the resort and ended up eating dinner at the bar, just taking in the sights. What I did not anticipate, was how family friendly the resort was, the older girls would’ve loved it. It took every ounce of self control I had to not tell Matt to load up the kids and meet me there. I had to keep telling myself, this is your weekend. You need this time alone.
I am so used to getting up early, sleeping late really isn’t an option. I got up early, walked along the bay, got a green juice and a coffee. I sat on a bench staring at the water for probably 20 minutes listening to a podcast. It was glorious. Next on the agenda was even more pampering, I hit the spa and then spent the afternoon by the pool. Capped the day off with a nap, room service and reading a book I had been desperately trying to finish.
Now, I realize a two night stay at a nice resort isn’t an option for everyone and this is probably something I won’t do again for a long time. Taking time away from your kids, house, spouse, job or just the everyday schedule can be really hard to do. But what I realized on this trip is how important it it. To take the time to sit, with just yourself, just your thoughts and read a book, listen to a podcast, order room service, stay in a robe all day, watch chick flicks or shop till you drop. What ever you feel like doing, that’s the point. You don’t have to stick to any plans, worry about anyone else and you can change your mind whenever you want.
I cannot recommend traveling alone enough, this was the first time I have done it after thinking about it for years and was finally able to make it happen. Figure out a way to get out of your routine, get a change of scenery and just take some time for you. Whether its a weekend getaway or an afternoon aimlessly strolling Target, be alone with your own thoughts and agenda for a while. You will feel like a whole new person when you come back to reality.
